Village Idiot Publishing (C) 2000 Diary of a Spirit
GUY THINGS ARE FOR MEN
Halloween, Halloween, oh how I would shout for joy.
To make believe, to maybe deceive,
And get free candy at that.
So much fun to just pretend, Dad likes to be a ghost.
He waits and lures them to the door,
And then he scares off their pants.
Telling ghost stories, with a flashlight on our faces,
To see who gets scared first.
Pumpkin carving, and Indian corn,
Hot cider is what I like best.
They'll have a party at the school,
And we'll all get to wear our best.
Mom and Helen say they'll fix it up, so I will win the prize.
Mom and Helen are looking at a pair of girls shoes,
Hay wait a minute!
There looking at a dress too;
What do they think their gonna do.
And then it came, the honest truth,
No one will know that it's you.
That's how your gonna win the prize,
And it's all done just for you.
Now mom's pretty sharp, and Helen is too,
I wonder if there right.
The teacher said, the one who no one knows,
Is the one who'll win the prize.
This just might work, and mom's pretty smart,
I think I'll go along.
So off I go along to school, and know one knows my name.
Walking in girls shoes is really cruel,
And this wind up my crouch is a drag.
In the class room everyone's almost exposed
And they still don't know who I am.
Wait a minute class where is Alex,
Could he have missed school today,
Hear I am teacher, I dressed up like a girl,
I fooled you one and all.
Ha ha Alex is a sissy, they all said suddenly.
"Oh no" this has all gone quite wrong.
What can I do, to make the guys think I'm true blue?
They'll never let me live it down.
Oh how could I be such a sucker to think,
That mom would understand,
If only she'd have let me be Buster Brown,
It would have been safe to walk home.
But the prize never made it to the front door,
And the guys kicked my ass, just for fun.
Mom thought her idea was perfect,
But the guys just didn't understand.
Because when it comes to doing guy things,
Mothers just don't understand.